Friday Follies - Monty Python's "Court Charades"

Docket Call

Criminal defense lawyerin' is becoming almost as dangerous as crab fishing on the Bering Sea. Man who punched own lawyer is convicted | Cincinnati.com | cincinnati.com

Every parent of a five year old in America can relate. Mom displays gun, chambers round at Chuck E. Cheese - CBS 5 - KPHO

Hell hath no fury... Police: Woman attacks ex-fiance's girlfriend in bed | Volusia County News - WESH Home

A: $142. Q: "How much is the fine for the seatbelt violation that cost a San Diego Deputy District Attorney her career?" Ticket-fixing case against prosecutor starts | UTSanDiego.com

Harry Houdini is alive and well in San Jose. Arrestee escapes in police minivan | Crime Scene | an SFGate.com blog

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Docket Call

Sounds like the arresting deputy was relatively unscathed. Woman accused of kicking people in the genitals on the street - Florida - MiamiHerald.com

A: "I'm not going to sit with that crap in there. I'm not." Q: "What did the juror in the Gotti trial say to the judge after he told her to calm down and try to get along with her fellow jurors?" Jury mob scene - NYPOST.com

Attorney does awesome job on a case, client gets screwed over by slimy "legal financing" company. Client who got $111 from $150K settlement can’t sue firm for malpractice - ABA Journal

"I'm from the government and I'm here to help." Fall Creek man’s lawsuit alleges coercion by IRS agent | A Fall Creek man says a female federal worker offered sex in exchange for a break on a tax audit

9 year olds are a little too young to have already seen the needle and the damage done. Utah third-grade teacher nabbed on heroin charge | The Salt Lake Tribune

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Ms. Lawyer, it's hard for me to take your moral outrage seriously when your letter is rife with spelling and grammatical errors. I am particularly puzzled by your response to my proposal as being "ludacris." Why bring the famous rapper into this litigation?

Docket Call

• Best buck the customer ever spent. 2 dancers at Wisconsin exotic club brawl over $1 | Appleton Post-Crescent | postcrescent.com
• Butch and Sundance, these guys are not. Getaway donkey ruins robbery - Telegraph
• A: A quarter of a million dollars. Q: "How much money will it cost your agency for kneeing and hogtying a pregnant woman for using a cell phone while driving? Pregnant woman hogtied by officers gets $250,000 settlement - Los Angeles Times
• You may be able to beat the rap but you can't beat the ride. Leah Gayle Shipman, teacher accused of sex with student, won't face trial after she married alleged victim - Crimesider - CBS News
• If you can't beat 'em, might as well join 'em. Chicago Tribune - 3 Schaumburg cops accused of drug ring

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Things You Can't Do in a Courtroom

    

The signs at the entrance give you a rundown on what you can't bring in (cell phones, cameras, purses, knives, guns, backpacks), what you can't do (chew gum, take pictures, eat your lunch) and what you can't wear (shorts, halter tops, hats). 

Here's some bad behavior that nobody thought to put on the sign:

• As part of the defendant's family, you should not get into a brawl with the victim's family. Grosse Pointe, Harper Woods Police Quell Courtroom Outburst - Grosse Pointe, MI Patch
• As a lawyer, it's probably not a good idea to call your judge a "black-robed bigot" and a "Catholic Knight Witch Hunter." Hastings lawyer with history of anti-Catholic slurs should be suspended, referee says - TwinCities.com
• Confession is good for the soul but your attorney probably isn't thrilled when you admit to murdering your mother at arraignment. ONLY ON 7: Man freed from death row confesses to new murder in courtroom outburst | abc7news.com
• Truth as a defense will not spare you when you call the defendant a "fat-ass." Superior Court: Courtroom Outburst Gets Hartford Woman 4 Months In Jail - Hartford Courant
• You cannot deny being a supervillain. 'Catwoman' Burglar Sentenced to Prison After Courtroom Outburst - DNAinfo.com New York

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Docket Call

• Lawyers Behaving Badly: Oklahoma high court approves suspended attorney's resignation | NewsOK.com
• Breaking Bad meets Boys' Town. Sources: Cross-dressing meth priest liked sex in rectory - Connecticut Post
• Judges Behaving Badly. Texas judge posts on Facebook about Manziel's speeding ticket
• "Don't scan me bro!" TSA removing 'virtual strip search' body scanners - CNN.com
• Lawyers Behaving Badly, Part 2: Eagan lawyer suspended; he billed her for time having sex - TwinCities.com
• A: Four local police departments, the Sheriff's Office and the State Police. Q: "How many law enforcement agencies does it take to break up a baby shower? Baby shower turns into brawl in Stoughton - Boston News, New England News, WHDH-TV 7NEWS WHDH.COM
• There are worse ways to go. Donna Lange, Washington Woman, Accused Of Using Her Breasts To Smother And Kill Boyfriend

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