Saturday, March 2, 2013

Kiddie Crime Wave

Forget the terrorists, the biggest threat facing America today is kids . . . being kids.

Some of the things we could do as youngsters that would get us locked up or thrown out of school these days:


I don't know about you, but I feel a whole lot safer knowing our police and school officials are cracking down on these scofflaws.

Wednesday, February 27, 2013

You hate me, but that's OK. I don't mind. Really.



Cops hate me. And I love it.

A familiar scene played out in the courtroom yesterday. The prosecutor had just finished a "by the book" (i.e. "boring")  direct examination of a uniformed police officer, a K-9 handler. I got up for my cross-examination; watching the officer every step to the podium.

Wait for it . . . wait . . wait. . ah, there it is!

The officer stiffened in his chair. The jaw clenched. His eyes shot Taser prongs at my testicles. The sneer of disgust let the whole courtroom know just exactly what he thought of me: hatred. Pure, unadulterated, vile, some real "If I saw you were drowning, I would not lend a hand" kind of hate.


I couldn't have been happier. I had already won this cross and hadn't even opened my mouth.

"Good afternoon Officer," I said cheerily, placing my thick folder on the podium. The file was a prop; I wouldn't be needing it.

"Afternoon Counsel," he begrudged, like his Momma was making him say it.

I wasn't sure until this moment which cross style I was going to use; "Bulldog," "Sympathetic Friend," "The Professor," "Moral Outrage," all have their uses but for this cross I decided to go with "Columbo."

"I'm sorry, you said just a few minutes ago that your K-9  was a "sniffer" dog and a . . . a what kind of dog?"

He rolls his eyes. You're an idiot, you can't even remember what I said 5 minutes ago. "A patrol dog."

Puzzled. "And I'm really sorry Officer, I guess I don't know what that means. Could you explain that?"

"He helps on patrol." Duh.

This went on for awhile, me the confused idiot asking silly questions about the attack capabilities and the viciousness of his K-9. The officer's contempt for me morphed into a I can't believe this knucklehead, this case is about a drug sniff attitude. His short, clipped responses came out as jeers.


"You wouldn't let your K-9 loose in a schoolyard?" K-9, not dog. Dogs are cute, cuddly, Man's Best Friend; K-9s are military. Vicious. They bite.

"Of course not." Looking over at the prosecutor. Can you believe this crap?


The prosecutor is a smart guy. He knows where this is going. He knows an objection won't save his witness at this point.


"So it's important for you to have strict control of your K-9 at all times  - so innocent people don't accidentally get bitten?"

"Of course."

"Your K-9 is trained to obey your every command?"

"He is very well-trained."  For the first time he smiles. He's proud of his dog. Besides, this cross has gotten way off topic. I haven't asked him a single question about the drug search. He knows I must be desperate. He's flailing; he's got nothing! The smile becomes a smirk.

I step away from the podium; my head hanging low. Defeated.

Slowly I lift my head up, eyes locking firm with the officer's. "And yet you want this court to believe that this well-trained dog - who obeys your every command - "inadvertently" jumped into my client's car before you could stop him?"

Boom goes the dynamite!

The officer's face gets red. "Well . . .  you have to understand . . . when he gets really  . . . excited around drugs . . ." he continues stuttering. His answer doesn't matter.

"No further questions Your Honor," as I walk back to my table.

The officer's hatred and contempt of me blinded him. It distracted him as my befuddled cross carefully, methodically walked him down the plank. Poor fella didn't even realize he was drowning until he was half-way down his plunge into the ocean.

He stormed out of the courtroom. Later that night his colleagues probably all agreed with him, over beer and shots, that I was the biggest dick ever.

And that's just fine by me. Because he won't learn from that experience. The next time he's on the stand he'll hate me even more than he does now. That hatred will blind him and he won't even realize the buttons I'm pushing.

And I will win that cross every time.

Sunday, February 10, 2013

The Emperor's New Clothes

I was amused this week with two stories about the public nature of Twitter; one very public, one private - both instructive about the new world lawyers in the 21st Century live and work in. 

First came the well-publicized internet battle between journalist Teri Buhl and what seemed to be every lawyer, journalism blogger and tech writer on the web. The story is well-documented by Houston attorney Mark Bennett on his excellent Defending People blog, as well on the TechDirt site

The short version is this: an attorney on Twitter, @GideonsTrumpet, noted that Ms. Buhl had posted the phrase "No Tweets are Publishable" on her Twitter profile. Gideon and Bennett pointed out that Ms. Buhl's warning is downright silly; Twitter is after all a public bulletin board, which shares information to all interested persons, both "followers" and anyone looking up Ms. Buhl's Twitter page (she has now locked her account so that her Tweets are not on her public page). 

Ms. Buhl did not react kindly to the constructive criticism lobbed her way by Bennett, the folks at TechDirt and many others. She responded with threats to sue several folks who posted her Twitter photo and through posting harsh comments on blogs and websites of those criticizing her outlandish statements; basically providing a lesson in how not to react to a PR crisis.

In the midst of this very public battle, a young lawyer relayed a story to me about a witness who was confronted with a printout of Tweets that completely destroyed, in tone and in fact, everything the witness had just presented at a legal proceeding. The lawyer had not thought to look up the witness on Twitter, thinking the witness was outside of a demographic that the lawyer believed would have a Twitter account. Opposing counsel did not make that mistake, however, and the lawyer learned an important (and probably very expensive) lesson that I'm sure will not be soon forgotten.

Millions of people are on Twitter these days, even if you're not. And if you're a lawyer and you're not on Twitter, shame on you. First of all, there's tons of information flying around on Twitter that you most likely can incorporate into your practice, one way or the other. For lawyers in private practice, Twitter can work as an effective tool in branding and advertising your services. 

Beyond that, it is absolutely critical that you understand the way your clients, witnesses, opposing attorneys, and others communicate and behave through social media. There are millions of conversations going on in the "Twitterverse," and as one unfortunate lawyer found out, important evidence in the cases you handle. Turning a blind "ear" to these conversations is not only dumb, it borders on malpractice in this day and age.

Folks like Ms. Buhl and the unfortunate witness can pretend all they want that what they post on Twitter is cloaked from public view; the rest of the world knows the naked truth. 

And you need to know that too.

(If you're already on Twitter (or take my advice and sign up today) please feel free to follow me: @coyotelaw65. I promise to followback.)

Saturday, February 9, 2013

Off the record.

Like all criminal defense attorneys, I get asked several times a week about whether it is possible to "keep this off my record." The unfortunate answer has always been "not in New Mexico." Whether it's someone who beats the charges or someone who did a really silly thing decades ago, the arrest would continue to haunt them. We have a chance to change all of that this year.

Senator Michael Sanchez (D-Belen) has introduced a bill that would authorize expungement of a criminal record under some, reasonable, circumstances. SB 294 was unanimously passed by the Public Affairs Committee earlier this week and has been passed on to the Judiciary Committee where it will likely see any serious opposition.

If history is any indicator, the bill will likely be passed by both houses of the Legislature - then promptly vetoed by Governor Martinez. Susana last year vetoed a similar bill, stating at the time that permitting expungement would "fundamentally and negatively alter the New Mexico criminal justice system."

Let's be clear, SB 294 does not authorize erasure of all arrests in New Mexico. It does provide expungement in the following limited circumstances:
  • Victims of identity theft that resulted in them being improperly charged with a crime.
  • Persons arrested for a crime for which they are later found not guilty or had their charges dismissed by a prosecutor or judge.
  • Persons convicted of minor misdemeanors who have stayed out of trouble for at least five years. Persons convicted of misdemeanor domestic violence would have to wait for ten years, and people found guilty of DWI, a sex offense or a crime involving minors would never be eligible for expungement.
Someone should ask Governor Martinez what is so "negative" about allowing innocent victims of ID theft to clear the wrongful charges off their record? As a former prosecutor, she has been responsible for the prosecution of dozens of people who used a sibling's identity when being arrested. When the truth came out the identity thief would be charged with numerous counts of fraud and forgery (one count for every form signed at the police station or jail). But what about the innocent victim of the ID theft? Currently there is no way to clear his good name. He will forever be branded a criminal for the actions of someone else and Governor Martinez wants to keep it that way.

I thought she was an advocate for victims?

What about others who have been falsely arrested? At least once a month I take on a client who was arrested for DWI and then taken to the police station where they blow a .02 or a .04 - significantly below the .08 standard in New Mexico. I've even had cases where a client has blown a .00! These folks are all presumptively "not intoxicated" in New Mexico. Usually a good prosecutor will dismiss the case eventually, or not even pick it up for prosecution. The client never should have been arrested in the first place, but due to an officer's grave mistake the client will have a DWI arrest on his or her record for all time.

Susana, as a prosecutor you were sworn to "do justice." Where's the justice in an innocent person paying for a cop's screw-up for the rest of his or her life?

As for the convictions for minor offenses, expungement offers a terrific incentive for folks to stay out of trouble. Only people who avoid arrest for 5 years or more would be eligible to have their record wiped clean. Isn't the overall goal of the criminal justice system to correct bad behavior and protect society from repeat criminal offenses? A person who graduates college, starts a family and is employed in a good career is a much different person at 30 than she was when she picked up a shoplifting or minor in possession charge when she was 18. Shouldn't we reward her for her good behavior?

Expungement would not be automatic. It would require the person to petition a court and have the situation reviewed. If granted, the original arrests would be erased from all publicly accessible databases and "treated as if they never occurred."

The criminal justice system in New Mexico would not be "fundamentally" altered by authorizing expungement. Repeat offenders and guilty, remorseless offenders will still have to own up to their criminal past.

Expungement in limited circumstances would only have a fundamentally positive impact for all New Mexicans. I urge everyone to contact your legislator and urge passage of SB 294 and, if necessary, urge for an override of Goverrnor Martinez' expected veto.

Thursday, February 7, 2013

Docket Call

Criminal defense lawyerin' is becoming almost as dangerous as crab fishing on the Bering Sea. Man who punched own lawyer is convicted | Cincinnati.com | cincinnati.com

Every parent of a five year old in America can relate. Mom displays gun, chambers round at Chuck E. Cheese - CBS 5 - KPHO

Hell hath no fury... Police: Woman attacks ex-fiance's girlfriend in bed | Volusia County News - WESH Home

A: $142. Q: "How much is the fine for the seatbelt violation that cost a San Diego Deputy District Attorney her career?" Ticket-fixing case against prosecutor starts | UTSanDiego.com

Harry Houdini is alive and well in San Jose. Arrestee escapes in police minivan | Crime Scene | an SFGate.com blog

Saturday, February 2, 2013

Docket Call

Sounds like the arresting deputy was relatively unscathed. Woman accused of kicking people in the genitals on the street - Florida - MiamiHerald.com

A: "I'm not going to sit with that crap in there. I'm not." Q: "What did the juror in the Gotti trial say to the judge after he told her to calm down and try to get along with her fellow jurors?" Jury mob scene - NYPOST.com

Attorney does awesome job on a case, client gets screwed over by slimy "legal financing" company. Client who got $111 from $150K settlement can’t sue firm for malpractice - ABA Journal

"I'm from the government and I'm here to help." Fall Creek man’s lawsuit alleges coercion by IRS agent | A Fall Creek man says a female federal worker offered sex in exchange for a break on a tax audit

9 year olds are a little too young to have already seen the needle and the damage done. Utah third-grade teacher nabbed on heroin charge | The Salt Lake Tribune




Ms. Lawyer, it's hard for me to take your moral outrage seriously when your letter is rife with spelling and grammatical errors. I am particularly puzzled by your response to my proposal as being "ludacris." Why bring the famous rapper into this litigation?

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Docket Call

Sunday, January 20, 2013

Things You Can't Do in a Courtroom

    
The signs at the entrance give you a rundown on what you can't bring in (cell phones, cameras, purses, knives, guns, backpacks), what you can't do (chew gum, take pictures, eat your lunch) and what you can't wear (shorts, halter tops, hats). 

Here's some bad behavior that nobody thought to put on the sign:

Saturday, December 15, 2012

‘Who Would Do This to Our Poor Little Babies’




Checked my phone when I woke up this morning and saw that my brother had sent me 3 texts with suggested presents for his little boys. I smiled as the items expressed each of the boys' unique personalities. Then I checked my Twitter feed and remembered.

I was in training yesterday, scanning my iPad for news stories and other articles relevant to my profession, when the first news flash about yet another school shooting popped up. Within an hour the confirmation came through - 20 elementary school children murdered.

The rest of the day the story followed the same predictable script: cable news channels playing the same footage over and over, while the same roster of pundits gave the same old opinions about how something like this could happen. It didn't take long for liberals to cry out once again for gun control, while gun rights folks quickly retorted with the same tired quips about how "guns don't kill people, bad guys kill people" and "if the teacher had been armed, this wouldn't have happened." Blah, blah, blah.

Our President addressed the nation, weary and, understandably, weepy. Once again the duty of his office demands that he visit the community and offer comfort to loved ones facing unimaginable grief, just as he did in Tucson and Aurora. This time will be different. The victims are so, so young.

Anderson Cooper did his usual "we are not going to say the shooter's name so we don't encourage others to do something like this." As if life is a Harry Potter book, and evil can be kept away as long as you just don't say his name.

Later in the day, Tweets and Facebook posts chastised us: "Stop talking politics. It's too soon to talk about this!" Ok, if it's too soon, then lets talk about the  Happy Valley Mall. Still too soon for that? How about Minneapolis? Still too soon? How about Oak Creek? Aurora? Oakland? Norcross, Georgia? That's just 2012. How about we go all the way back to 2011 and talk about Tucson?

Because we need to talk.

Columbine. Virginia Tech. Omaha. Northern Illinois University. San Diego. Ft. Hood. Santa Clara. Covina. The list of mass shooting sites is rapidly expanding. Soon the list will exceed the list of Civil War battle sites.

And we do nothing.

Just talking about solutions provokes a knee-jerk defensiveness from gun owners. Let's get this straight, no reasonable person wants to take away your guns. Ninety-nine percent of lawful gun owners are responsible and are not committing mass shootings or other crimes. But what does that mean? Police in Connecticut have told us that the guns used to murder children yesterday were all legally bought and registered to the shooter's mother.

I am reminded of a tragic shooting here in Las Cruces five years ago. New Mexico State Police Officer Susan Kuchma, a good cop and delightful person, was gunned down by her mentally ill son. He used Susan's own, lawfully owned, gun to do the deed.

In the days and weeks to come, we will learn more about the shooter. We will find out that there were warning signs, strange behaviors and incidents. We will all wonder why something wasn't done - how come nobody intervened? Pundits will point out that well-meaning liberals who have made it very difficult to institutionalize the mentally ill, combined with Reagan-era budget cuts, have left our nation's mental health system a woeful mess.

I don't know what the answers are. I know I am growing weary of supporting gun rights, as news tragedy after tragedy arrives in waves. I know the Second Amendment contains the phrase "well-regulated." I know that a mentally ill person, determined to cause destruction, will find a way to achieve it. I know we don't want a world where our children's teachers are issued sidearms along with the keys to their classrooms.

Whatever the answers are, it's not too soon to talk about them. It's already too late for the little children at Sandy Hook Elementary.



Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Docket Call

Monday, December 10, 2012

Docket Call

 

Saturday, December 8, 2012

Outlaws and Badmen

Trying to put together the ultimate playlist for crime, criminals and justice. Here's what I've come up with so far:



 I Fought The Law The Clash 
 Gimme Shelter The Rolling Stones 
 Only The Good Die Young  Billy Joel 
 Renegade Styx 
 Folsom Prison Blues  Johnny Cash 
 Johnny 99 Bruce Springsteen 
 Jailhouse Rock Elvis Presley 
 Lawyers, Guns And Money Warren Zevon 
 Stagger Lee  Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds 
 Murder Incorporated Bruce Springsteen 
 One Piece At A Time Johnny Cash 
 Pretty Boy Floyd Woody Guthrie 
 I Ain't Living Long Like This Waylon Jennings 
 Take The Money And Run Steve Miller Band 
 Mama Tried Merle Haggard & The Strangers 
 One Way or Another Blondie 
 The Devil's Right Hand Steve Earle 
 The Legend Of Bonnie & Clyde Merle Haggard 
 Helter Skelter  Oasis 
 Sympathy for the Devil The Rolling Stones 
 The Road Goes On Forever  Robert Earl Keen 
 Crazy Eddie's Last Hurrah Reckless Kelly 
 Excitable Boy Warren Zevon 
 Atlantic City Bruce Springsteen 
 Bohemian Rhapsody  Queen 
 Psycho Killer  Talking Heads 
 I Shot The Sheriff  Bob Marley & The Wailers 
 Band on the Run  Paul McCartney 
 Twilight Zone Golden Earring 
 Smokin' In The Boys Room Mötley Crüe 
 State Trooper Bruce Springsteen 
 You Only Live Twice Nancy Sinatra 
 James Bond Theme (From "Dr. No.") John Barry Orchestra ,
 Gimme Three Steps Lynyrd Skynyrd 
 I'm Just Here To Get My Baby Out Of Jail Keller & The Keels
 Me And Julio Down By The Schoolyard  Paul Simon 
 Blood Red And Goin' Down Tanya Tucker 
 Green, Green Grass Of Home Porter Wagoner 
 Walk On The Wild Side  Lou Reed 
 Roxanne The Police 
 Stan Eminem 
 Don't You Think This Outlaw Bit's Done Got Out Of Hand Waylon Jennings 
 Perry Mason  Ozzy Osbourne 
 Meeting Across The River Bruce Springsteen 
 Smooth Criminal  Michael Jackson 
 Wanted Dead Or Alive Bon Jovi 
 Pancho and Lefty Merle Haggard;Willie Nelson 
 You May Be Right Billy Joel 
 Whenever Kindness Fails Robert Earl Keen 
 Copacabana Barry Manilow 
 Big Iron Marty Robbins 
 Rapid Roy [The Stock Car Boy] Jim Croce 
 Working At The Car Wash Blues Jim Croce 
 Live And Let Die Paul McCartney 
 Darlington County Bruce Springsteen 
 Fast Car Tracy Chapman 
 Jesse James Woody Guthrie 
 Criminal Fiona Apple 
 Bang Bang (My Baby Shot Me Down) Nancy Sinatra 
 I Can't Drive 55 Sammy Hagar 
 Tired Eyes Neil Young 
 Only Sixteen Dr. Hook 
 Mack The Knife Bobby Darin 
 Back On The Chain Gang  The Pretenders 
 A View To A Kill Duran Duran 
 1952 Vincent Black Lightning Richard Thompson 
 I Stole Your Love Kiss 
 Hot Rod Lincoln  Asleep At The Wheel 
 Radar Gun The Bottle Rockets 
 Highway Patrol Junior Brown 
 The Night The Lights Went Out In GA Vicki Lawrence
 Fuck Tha Police  N.W.A. 
 Leader of the Pack The Shangri Las
 Frank And Jesse James Warren Zevon 
 The Pusher Steppenwolf 
 Down On The Corner Creedence Clearwater Revival 

Friday, December 7, 2012

Docket Call

 

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Friday, November 30, 2012

Status Conference